Best 3 years of my life....!!! Chapter 1: An outsider (Part 1)

Chapter 1: An outsider (Part 1)

My first contact with NIMHANS was the academic section which was a pleasant surprise, especially coming a day after dealing with the most hostile academic section one can ever imagine at Madras Medical College (MMC)(would need a separate write up if I start explaining how spiteful the people  there are). The staff in the academic section are the most friendliest I have ever imagined and expected. The warmth,  amiableness, approachability and facilitatory nature of the staff was just the initial trailer of the main picture that followed panning out over a period of next three years. 

After the initial admission procedure got over I was directed to go and meet the Head of the department,who during that time was Dr Sekhar P Seshadri, who was in-charge HOD, as Dr SKC has gone on vocation. I went to meet him in the CAP OPD, where to my pleasant surprise I was greeted in Tamil, the language which is the mother tongue of both of us. Friendliness and simplicity of the man struck me immediately. As if the friendly banter between the junior most fellow joining the institute at that time and the HOD is not surreal enough, he took me in person walking with me across the OPD hall to the unit 1 OPD, and introduced me to Dr Shivaram who was in charge of allotting the units. I was almost in a dream-like state unable to fathom whether it was all real or a pleasant dream.  I don't think anyone would have experienced such a humble HOD anywhere in India, especially in the medical set-up. I can challenge anyone any amount as wager for the same. 

My first snap at NIMHANS  (Courtesy: Sisira )

Once I joined the unit 1, Chief of the Unit, Dr BNG, wished me good luck and was chatting with me in such a casual manner which was all alien to me, having experienced strict bureaucratic attitudes from even the junior most assistant professors in a state government medical college all through my UG days. As I was fighting with the deadline to cancel my PG seat I got admitted through the All India PG within the next 5 days to avoid paying penalty of Rs two lakhs and when I reported the same to Dr Shivaram and Dr BNG, they asked me to immediately take leave for two days, go and sort it out and come. That day when I was returning back to Chennai, only thing that was going through my mind was how lucky I was to get into this place. I was even ready to pay Rs two lakhs if things din't happen as I expected. 

I still remember my first day in the OPD, where Dr Naren who was more like a consultant than a SR, asked Mahavir to guide me through the routine. He did it with his usual flair like he subsequently did in the next  two years with our junior batches only this time I felt like a junior listening to a senior. Though the feeling of being an outsider never left me because I was joining twenty days late by which time the introduction of the batch was over and friendships already taking root among those posted in various units. To my eyes colleagues who were working in Unit 1 at that time were looking intimidating to me, (when I think about it now, I can only LOL..:D) may be because of the preconceived notions that I had about people who might have got selected in such a competitive All-India exam as that of NIMHANS.

 Though at one end I was happy to step into such an esteemed and friendly Institute, on the other end I was a bit apprehensive of how would I be able to match up with the nineteen other brightest minds from all over the country who have chosen Psychiatry as their career. It took me almost two months to get used to the place professionally as well as personally before I could feel a sense of belonging. The struggles, discoveries, new friendships and how from being an outsider to the one who became the coordinator of the batch activities, needs to be told.            
                                                                                                 ...... To be continued 

Best 3 years of my life....!!!

Preface:

It must be September  2009. After my tryst with civil service examination and "3 Idiot" Madhavan like confrontation with my dad ( actually I was a passive onlooker when my mom and sister confronted my dad) I began my PG preparations in June 2009. As anyone in Chennai who prepare for PG entrance would know, my abode too was Dr.MGR Medical University library. As always ever so slowly my preparations where going on in snail pace.

In September my friends with whom I was staying and preparing stared to apply for entrance exam for an Institute which I was not that familiar with ( I knew there is an institute called NIMHANS but didn't even knew what was its expansion..!!) NIMHANS. Initially I was not interested for I was too lazy to travel to various places for writing exams then. (Later I went as far as Chandigarh to write exams which altogether another story) But when all in your group is applying you get a tad anxious as to why can't you too apply. Thus reluctantly I applied for it after one our study group member and close friend Gajadeepan told that his friend by name Shankara Subbu cleared it easily by just reading the last 10 years all-India psychiatry questions alone in addition to the regular preparation, I started having a fantasy why can't too do the same. Thus I too applied for it.

Starting with AIIMS exams in November, almost one exam every fortnight followed. NIMHANS finally arrived in the last week of February, by which exhaustion has set in. Okay, one more week to go, let me put in a decent effort at reading all the last 10 years all-India pyschiatry questions, my mind would say. I enjoyed my niece's first birthday celebration too during that week. But by then I was sure that I would get a rank in all-India or TNPG exams and since my aspiration at that point was only a non-clinical seat, mind was lazy to put in that extra effort.

   Reluctantly started travelling to Bangalore. During the travel all I did was munch each and every thing that was sold in the train while my friends with whom I was travelling where are engrossed in the last minute preparation. Especially when they were discussing about the various clusters of personality I paid scant attention which bit me in my back the next day. (There was indeed a question on the cluster of personality which I answered wrongly while rest of them did it correctly)  I went back without even bothering to come and look at what is NIMHANS and how did it look like.

I felt the question paper was easy as I finished it in around an hour and fifteen minutes but when we came out and were discussing questions I felt it would be impossible to be the lucky 20 to get into this institute. So I went to the library as usual back in Chennai the next day (by this time going to library has become a habit) with an idea of lets continue preparation for the May AIIMS & PGI. I din't even bother to check the results that day. It was my friend Venkataramanan who saw the results and called me by around 12 noon and said I have been called for counselling the next day. 

Immediately I rushed to my sister's house and opened the NIMHANS page and saw it for myself. Immediately booked tickets in all the trains that were leaving that afternoon, with none being a confirmed ticket. Had to rush back to the library to get all my certificates photostatted and to get it attested. Only the 5pm Shatabdhi express ticket confirmed and while I was travelling towards the central station I realised that I have somehow forgotten to get one more certificate attested. As soon as I landed at central I rushed to MMC casualty nearby and requested the CMO on duty for attestation which he gladly obliged. 

My parents concurrently where travelling from Salem to Bangalore and we met at the Bangalore city railway station. Next day the auto driver dropped us near the OPD (wonder what was he thinking listening to us discussing about admission to NIMHANS....:P ) When we inquired with the people there where is admission is being done they directed us to the screening OPD. There we realized what they really understood by admission. A neurology resident passed by ( I presuming since he was wearing an apron ) who directed us to the campus across the road. 

Initially we tried to enter the locked Neurobiology research center where another person ( I think Ritika Bhutani ) who was also lost. Finally we stumbled across a security guard who guided us to the academic section. When the counselling started slowly it began to sink in that I don't have a chance getting a seat as all the seats have been taken up and I was 3rd on the waiting list. Euphoria slowly evaporated and I returned back dejected. 

During the all-India counselling I met the person who has taken the seat before me, and also the person who was wait-listed above me. The former told he has decided to continue in NIMHANS while the second one told he is also interested in the seat if the former let it go. So even the glimmer of hope I was having vanished.  But I was in regular contact with Punith (who was the only person whom I met and spoke in the NIMHANS counselling ). 

Meanwhile I got MD psychiatry seat in Institute of Mental Health, Chennai through all-India PG entrance exam. Slowly I was forgetting NIMHANS and getting used to IMH. In the third week of May I got a call from Punith saying that the first person and second person have left the seat and the person who was ranked just above me has not joined yet and the time period of a week given to him is about to lapse. The emotional state I was in when i heard this from Punith is difficult to describe. Without wasting much time I called up the academic section and inquired whether I can come and join. They asked me to come immediately.

Immediately I took leave for couple of days, went back and forth between IMH and MMC to get my original documents and left Chennai as fast as I could. Next day I joined NIMHANS, 20th may, 2010, the day which is as significant as my birthday, for it was a new beginning, a journey through the next 3 years which were the best years of my life...!!!

                                                                                                       ...... To be continued 

We all are hypocrites...

We all are hypocrites... 

We'll support Anna hazare against corruption but when it comes our own place , thesis , exams , etc becomes more important than corruption...

We'll shout & cry about 1 rupee petrol hike in facebook but when it comes to 1300 rupees hike in mess fees we would quietly & shamelessly go to mess & have food...

We'll put all creative status updates & pictures about selfish po

liticians but when it comes to our life we are no different from them in our selfishness....

we'll share paragraphs & photographs on the sacrifices of our forefathers on days like gandhi jayanthi , independence day but when it comes to us we are not capable of even the most minor sacrifices.....

Ya ...... We are facebook tigers but real life chicken....

Weekend adventures......

Whoa...life is crazy here in NIMHANS. We work endlessly in the weekdays from 9 am to 8 pm. So it is imperative that we must chill out in the weekends ala software pros. Like last week we went out to a buffet with all our unit colleagues. This week we thought may be it is time for something more daring , more adventurous & more thrilling (than convincing our patients for a mental status examination or doing a ward side night duty..!).


Our choice for the occasion was Skandagiri mainly because our seniors recommended it that it will be ideal for beginners like us since it has a very easy course for night trekking .So we started from our hostel by about 12 midnight blissfully unaware of the things to come. With a borrowed sweater from my friend Mahavir i embarked on my journey along with 3 others – Mahavir – the perfectionist & the mentor of the gang , ever smiling & ever balanced Kapil & Shivkumar – the son of the soil & the man for all seasons.


Half way through the journey we realised that we have forgotten to bring any torch & contemplated returning to hostel to get one. Just then i realised that i my mobile phone had a torch which has light powerful than any torch that we use in our clinical practise. (apparently that model mobile phone Add used to show a sardari lorry driver using the mobile torch for his malfunctioning head light..!)


After getting stopped by police twice & paying Rs20 after informing them that we are doctors from NIMHANS finally we reached the foothills of Skandhagiri. After bargaining with the so called contractors of the bike stand (if there was one ) we started on our adventurous trek upwards . Unmindful of the “warnings” of the guides whom services we shunned as their demand was too high (as else ware here too the software pros have made their presence felt..).



Amidst their ridicule & petty warnings we started our trekking on a wrong foot not knowing where the path to the hills starts. Shivkumar suggested us one route which we studiously followed only to know that we were in a no man’s land no where to go stranded in the middle of the unfriendly terrain .

Just then we noticed a dark figure approaching us......
was he our saviour or our nemesis ....????

99....!

“99” is the story of two men in two cities who are bound by a common feeling of always being stuck at '99'. They never seem to make it to a 'century' - in life. When I saw the movie somehow I felt connotation of the theme in my life too. Ya I too have a fairly long share of “99’s” in my life . All through my life as far as my memory serves me right I have always slugged it out way upto 99 albeit left stranded there invariably.



During my primary school days in Cluny I always used to be second in either the sport activities like running or gunny-bag races or if I get an award like for “ Excellence in Studies” it will be ever 2nd..Never ever have I got the first rank in any of my classes though I have innumerable 2nd ranks to my credit.


The most striking part that vindicated my “99”ness came during my higher secondary days , that too in my Mathematic tuition tests. In almost all tests I will get 99/100 , 49/50 , 59/60...... howsoever carefully I do the tests I would have bungled with one step here or there for which my Mathematics madam as strict as she is would deduct 1 mark. So I end up almost always 1 short of that “century”. I used to say to her that I would end up in the same manner in the 12th exams too & you know what in my 12th exams my score in Mathematics was 199/200 & in Chemistry 199/200...! So much so for the Nostradamus in me .


I thought there would be a change on the brighter side since I was the only one from my batch who got into Govt. Medical college . But if you would have guessed it right give a pat on your back. In my first exams in Anatomy paper my score was 299 missing the distinction by 1 mark..! AGAIN..! By the time I finished my UG I got couple of 3rd place finishes in my academic performances (happy that atleast here I wasn’t 2nd ) .


After my UG instead of what most of my friends did in pursuing for the PG I took a detour towards civil services examinations . Here too I cleared preliminary exams with ease each time I wrote twice unable to cross the Main exam. 99 striking again.
Not only in academics , in every sphere of life I felt often stranded in 99 . I had two crushes so far neither of whom rejected me at the point 0 (zero) or 1. In both the instances I built hopes (albeit false ) upto the level of “99” when I was told that all along I have erected a castle built upon delusions .


Now coming back to the academics , after my futile attempt at UPSC & realising that “the grapes are sour ” I started my preparations for PG entrance exams which lasted for some 7-8 months. At the end of it I got rank in almost all the exams I wrote but misfortune was shadowing me. I missed the seat in JIPMER only because I didn’t browse through their notification of extended counselling. In the NIMHANS too I missed the seat (the exact mark by which I missed I don’t know but I bet you it won’t be too high.... ). In All India PG counselling my first choice was MD (Psychiatry) & when the counselling started on my day only 1 seat was left which stayed as it was till lunch but just as I was about to be called someone took it & the “Luck” played its part once again.


Why was I left stranded @ 99 time & again..? May be I was not able to put in that extra bit of effort that separated 99 from 100 or was it that lacuna is bridged by that thing known as “Luck” which is a distant relative for me....?





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This how this piece would have ended if I have written it couple of months back. But there were many turn of events in the last couple of months after which I had to experience the satisfaction & joy of reaching that “100” for the first time in life when I got admission in NIMHANS by virtue of increase in one seat & guys who were ranked above me refusing the seat..................................................How’s that for a happy ending.

Leisure.....

"What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare."

- William Henry Davies

When will i have a life without care & have time to stand & stare.....will i ever have it...?????

Intro......

Hai buddies....

I am one among those striving to be a good human being which i found to be not that easy...

& I believe in “The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do...."

It’s me SRI @ OTee @ Sabari Sridhar O.T. Am happy to share my life with one & all.





Am a simple guy with average looks & cheerful demeanor , craving for intellectual stimulation as much as for cathartic respite after all these years of academic corrosion .


Am an atheist & believe in one’s mind is more powerful than other imaginary/supernatural/superstitious /abstract non-being.


Am 27 years old , born in Erode , brought up in Salem & residing here in Chennai for the last 4 years. My father Thambidurai is a advocate & my mother Vasantha is a retired Sub-treasury officer. I have a younger sister Mythili happily married with a kid.


My friends list is a long long one & there are about 5 or so soul mates .Will be elaborating them in the future posts.


My alma maters are Primary @ Cluny Matriculation School , Metric & Higher secondary @ Holy Cross Matriculation Higher secondary School & UG medicine @ GMKMC , Salem. After 3 years of unsuccessful attempts at Civil Service , here I am at the brink of joining a PG seat after I decided to change tracks some 6 months ago.

As far as this Blog “Sriupclose” is concerned , it is a cathartic vehicle through which I like to shed all my happiness , sorrows , desires , disappointments ,achievements , misadventures, et al.


This is Sabari Sridhar for you , known to probably about 100 or so people today , but one day he will be surly known at Pan-Indian level or may be beyond. Though am not a Nostradamus , this prediction of mine will surly come true…..Am going to watch it unfold along with you people….Lets enjoy each other’s company….


Cheers,

Happy reading,

OTee…